I keep finding myself joking that I will be happy if I so much as crawl across the finish line in June. And that is probably pretty close to the truth, even if the “just finish” spirit sort of bothers me.
So, yesterday, I was doing a mental blog (brilliant one. Brilliant. Goat ate it, though…so sorry) while wandering across campus. During my foray, I had the opportunity to talk with one of my favorite people in the world, D., who somehow managed to tap into my wandering thoughts about marathons and academics.
See, I figured out what this marathon is to me; it’s the physical version of a dissertation, which, as with the “crawling” comments above, I was convinced that merely finishing the damn thing would be enough. Brilliance being overrated and all. But, in the years since completion, I have returned to the beast time and again, wondering if I could have approached it differently…I’ve certainly found other ways to look at my topic (Redemption, for those who never had any portion of it inflicted on them) since completion.
Then again, there is something to be said for just being done and then revisiting under less pressure. Could I have realized the connections between addiction literature and my theories of redemption sooner, maybe…but I was fairly disconnected (denial) from my own ongoing addiction struggles at the time, so it is highly unlikely I would have recognized such a connection during the writing phase.
Well, that and it took reading Slash’s bio, for whatever reason, for said connections to sink in. I think it was about the time he opens a chapter by talking about the addicts impulse to know more about his or her intoxicant o’ choice. After that book, I started reading (and in some cases re-reading) addiction narratives voraciously.
So a marathon, like a dissertation, is perhaps something that I need to complete–and then refine, if I so choose. But, I first have to know and to prove to myself that I can finish it. Crawl if necessary; upright would be best, but we’ll see.
I suppose that this could all be summarized by simply noting that I probably left “Glutton for Punishment” behind some years ago and am currently heading up “Masochist Way.”
They posted the course this morning…well, they were supposed to. I guess I need to account for “morning” in Seattle is getting toward afternoon here. Sigh. I’ll look again later and share as it appears. Duff didn’t post today either, so maybe Seattle has just gone on a collective hiatus today….or perhaps they are just celebrating because Junior went back to the Mariners. Seems that there is hope for Seattle sports after all. Okay, so I jumped the gun on both counts: Duff posted (finally) and the course info goes up tomorrow, not today. But I stand by my theories regarding Griffey, Jr. and Seattle sports. So there.