Okay..weird. I wrote this several days ago (last Thursday) and thought it had disappeared into the great beyond. Lo and behold, this morning it reappeared. I’ll comment on it below, but…it seemed worth posting this intact.
I don’t know how many of you remember the silly-ass movie Top Secret (ah, the days and youth of Val Kilmer), but the scene in the diner when he starts spinning on the rug, has for some stupid reason been in my head for the past few days:
Go to 1:26 to see the spinning scene, but the clip is worth the few minutes of goofiness.
Rugs are on my mind–and I am pleased that I defaulted to parody here–because the rug was pulled out from under me rather dramatically twice this week. While normally I’ve no particular hesitation in sharing my various mistakes and tribulations, these two particular incidents are not mine to share. They were big and unexpected and utterly terrifying, though. I’ve not had a panic attack, nor given into my various demons, though I’m quite depressed. I’m of the opinion that depression is a perfectly rational response, so I’m not worrying over it so much as just trying to maintain a semblance of normal.
The highlight of the past few days was teaching this morning. I think I have one of those rare classes–mature beyond my initial expectations and wonderfully curious and opinionated. While they have no idea what has happened, I can’t begin to express the gratitude I owe them for holding me up this morning, when they didn’t even know that they were doing so. It felt so good to be up there, out of my little reality, and teaching, especially with such delightful students.
One casualty of the events is the marathon I’d planned to run on February 7th. I’m sad to let it go, but it is prudent to do so. Once I’ve dusted myself off sufficiently, I may decide to put the training thus far to use toward the ING marathon in Atlanta this spring, but we’ll see what shakes out. And, as ever, I’m not inclined to believe that things can’t get any worse (or won’t get better, for that matter). Situations can always degrade and improve.
Anyway, my prayers are with you all in your own situations and moments–good and bad. My prayers are for all Haitians–ones who lived through the earthquake directly and ones who will experience the aftershocks in the days and weeks to come, both in Haiti and abroad. My prayers are with those who my lesser brain would like to dismiss and deride right now, because, as a wise woman noted in her tweets of late: “I cannot afford the luxury of a negative thought.”
Couple of readings to share:
On the upside, I’d like to share a few reading goodies: What I’m Up To, from Paradise Perspective. Great thought: “Keeping focused on the moment, and remembering to be present for this inch, this stitch, and NOT the finished garment (or what’s for dinner) is the goal.”
This one is a couple weeks old, but worth the read: Starting Over, from Duff’s Reverb Column.
(added on Monday): From slacktivist, Dear Pat Robertson, STFU. I think the title explains all you need to know. Amen.
I’m feeling better today. My memories of last week are foggy at best–except when I was at work, when I was able to focus most– it was utterly awful. And the third thing (convinced as I am that bad things come in threes) seems to be the possibility of additional furlough days (not sure yet–we have several already worked into the semester, but I’m not sure if they “count”). But, it is what it is. We’ll get through the two big “bads” of last week and the potential for more furlough days. Our lives may look different in the end, but, we’ll get through.
Right now, I’m taking things one stitch at a time (most humorous to me, since one of my current books is this gem: The Happy Hooker. Why the heck not, right?
I think for the next few posts, I’m going to work on compiling my Lenten Reading list (I need a theme–thoughts?), writing about books, and trying very hard to write the positive. Focus on the Beautiful, for a while, rather than just the Disease.